Whe Macaroni A Go? The Entailment Of Stupidity
Whe Macaroni a go?
Whe Macaroni a go?!
Whe di bumboclaat wrang wid Macaroni?!
Macaroni a madman?!
A few months ago, a video went viral of a man in Jamaica, identified only by the name of Macaroni, trying to navigate a dollar bus over a flooded roadway. He wasn’t successful. The bus overturned, which elicited the incredulous - albeit amusing - monologue above from an onlooker. Translated into English, it renders as:
Where’s Macaroni going?
Where’s Macaroni going?!
What the fuck is wrong with Macaroni?!
Is Macaroni crazy?!
I too had my ‘Macaroni Moment’ recently (it sure feels that way) in the form of a now-cancelled, Premium VISA Gold bank card. Luckily, mine was away from the din of social media commentary and grainy telephone cameras.
After receiving a few signs (and gentle nudges) from the universe that I was overspending - the most premonitory of which being the cancellation of said bank card, closure of its attractive 1600€ per month revolving overdraft limit, two very stern overdraft reminders and a real fear that I could become a serial debtor - I’ve decided on a no spending challenge for the next twelve months.
This means, outside of expenses, like bills, food or debt repayment, I will not be spending on non-necessitous items - or worse, on impulse. Alas, goodbye, online newspaper subscriptions; au revoir, Amazon; and sayonara my dear Sushi Shop. There are a few other things I shall be saying ‘peace’ to as well, but these will be decided as the months progress. For now, though, it’s the strategy of - as we say back home - ‘one, one coco’.
To say that I’ve been living paycheck to paycheck, for the last few months, is a gross understatement. In reality, I feel like I have been robbing Peter blind to pay Paul. I’m as the meme says: Poor (and) having too much month at the end of my money. As once I cover the essential standing orders of rent, utilities, food and monthly debt repayment, I barely have much to dine out, or do the odd discretionary spending. But I do anyway. Why? Because I know, legally, the banks have to honour the card charges. And so, the cycle of deficit continues, month after month, after month.
Easy money is expensive money
How did I get to this stage, you ask? Simple, overconsumption. But I’m also inclined to blame this snowball into the land of entailment, wholly at the feet of the first credit card I took out. I say this because, before that, I lived a frugal, self-subsisting lifestyle. I needed a new TV, plus some other appliances, as I had a guest over for a few days. At the time, I justified these purchases by telling myself, ‘It’s not a lot, you’ll pay it back. Plus, it’s lonely coming home to a silent and bare apartment. The TV will keep you company.’
Or maybe it was the second card, which was even more attractive than the first. “Mr Davis,” said the IKEA representative, “are you aware that you can pay for your purchase over the course of several months?” “No,” was my earnest reply. She then explained the advantages of the IKEA members' card, which came with a commercial offer of a delayed 30-day first repayment. There was also a 2000€ limit. I didn’t hesitate. That day, along with the mattress I initially went in to buy, I went home with a mirror, an armchair, some plants a wall clock. I even splurged on a new shaggy rug (the white kind everyone has in their Instagram photos) and some refreshments from the downstairs food court.
No, I think it was the third, which by this time I was a pro and the chief instigator. I had learnt the rules of what to say during the pre-approval interview, and especially how not to ask for too much. “Hello, I just saw your offer on the internet for credit cards and revolving loans. How does one apply?” It was that easy. In the next few days, I had another card on the way with yet another 2000€ limit. Now here’s the real doozie. I can’t remember what I bought with that card.
Financial Goals
Usually, at the start of a new year, I have a buzzword that is meant to motivate me and define the year ahead. For 2018, that word was discipline. Discipline embodies many forms: physical, mental, spiritual, etc. But for me, the most urgent is financial discipline. What are my goals where financial discipline is concerned? The first is complete debt repayment. The second is to save and invest at least 20% of my income. The third - and the one I’m looking most forward to - is financial freedom.
I freed up some headspace recently, and via an Excel worksheet, I was able to calculate my spending habits. I realised that a little more than 1/3 of my budget is going to credit card and debt repayment. The worst part is, most of it is toward interest. I definitely can’t afford to be throwing away money like that.
Financial freedom - by those who have mastered it - is described as feeling unencumbered by the emotional anxiety of looming debt, the liberty of discretionary spending, and most importantly, having a healthy relationship with money. Now, isn’t that a beautiful goal? I know it will be a difficult 12 months ahead, but I’m willing to succeed at this challenge, which will hopefully see me resetting some unhealthy spending habits.
Oh là là!
Mario
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